Long Distance Love

One of the greatest things a person can experience in this life is to find that one other human being in the world you can give your heart to. In my opinion love is a combination of so many different feelings all wrapped up into one distinct emotion. Love is joyous, painful, exciting, confusing and so many other things but one thing love will never be is PREDICTABLE. When two people come together and decided that there ready to embark on a romantic relationship love can often be tested....especially if you live NO WHERE NEAR your partner. Long distance relationships are more common now than ever before. With the huge access of communication technology its simple to keep in contact with a person from a distance but when that person is the man or women you love its NEVER AN EASY MATTER.

Don't get me wrong I am no love guru but I feel like I myself am going through the process of learning how to maintain a healthy long distance relationship. I know your probabley thinking what the hell do you know about being in a long distance relationship Ms.Fluffy Figures... well I honestly know a little something because the love of my life lives a driving distance of over 10 hours away from me. I am currently a resident of Atlanta, GA and my significant other lives in the state of New York. I met my boyfriend on March 13th, 2010 at a party in Atlanta. He was visiting his mother (who coincidentally lives right down the street from my mother's house lol) and of course with my luck I met him the weekend he was going back home. We shared some dances and eventually exchanged numbers. He asked me "Will You Be My Girlfriend For the Weekend?", I laughed and agreed to his silly proposal and we hit it off from there. We stayed in contact after that weekend and eventually became close friends over the years. I'm from New York as well so I would see him when I went back home to visit my family and he saw me when he came to visit his mom in Georgia. Our friendship grew into true love throughout the years but we still never really considered being in an actual relationship because of the distance....until a certain chain of events occurred and we realized the love we both had for each other was worth a try. The Long-Distance is still very fresh for me so everyday is a new learning experience for us but I have learned how to deal with a few common hurdles most people face when it comes to allowing the relationship to run as smoothly as possible.

DISMISS OUTSIDE NEGATIVITY: The romantic love between two people can never be defined  by any outsider because it is exclusively formulated for YOU & YOUR PARTNER! When your in a long distance relationship there will always be some type of opinion thrown at you even when your not asking for it. People do not respond well to things they don't understand and as easily as it is to feed into everyone else's opinion sometimes you have to follow you own mind. The only people who will truly understand your  relationship is you and your love. You cant let people's negative vibes become a factor in your relationship. Would you let someone from the outside come in your bed to cuddle up with you and your boo...Hell No! So why let them cuddle up in your relationship with their negativity? I have learned that it is better to listen to my own gut feeling rather than running to everyone else for theirs. Look to your family and friends for support because you will need it from time to time but in the end you will be the best at judging your own situation as long as you keep in real and stay true to yourself.

LEARN TO TRUST: In any relationship near or far TRUST IS EVERYTHING! If you cant trust your partner there is no reason to even consider a relationship let alone a long distance commitment. People often don't understand that trust goes way past just being monogamous within your relationship. Trusting someone means that when all the chips are down you trust that person to have your back and be there for you. If you are unsure that you can trust that a person will be there for you through the rain as well as the sunshine than they are not the one for you plain and simple. Everyone has there jealous/insecure moments in a relationship IT'S NORMAL but those moments should be few and far between. Most of us have been hurt before but you cant let a past relationship ruin your current situation JUST MOVE ON. If you find yourself always feeling insecure in your own relationship there is a problem.... either your partner is an ass hole or you have some growing to do as a person before you can continue in any relationship especially one from a distance. I have never really been a jealous person in general so I never really had to deal with major trust issues. My rules are simple, if I have the feeling that I cant trust you based off your actions I wont even give you the time of day. If I allow a person to come into my life and they abuse my trust in any way they have to go and that's just real. I won't let anyone turn me into the crazy jealous girlfriend because that's just not me....I don't snoop, go through phones or none of that bull shit because I don't even allow it to get that far. Once I feel like I cant trust you and I have to take time out to start playing detective for whatever reason that means its time for you to go. No relationship can work without trust and if you don't have it work on it or just be real with yourself and cut your losses.

UTILIZE TECHNOLOGY: We live in the era of Facebook, Video Chat, & Smartphones There is no reason why you should have communication issues in a long distant relationship. Conversation is a HUGE chunk of your relationship so it should flow very naturally when you are with your partner. Most of the time people in long distance relationships communicate better than couples who live in the same damn house. We have that connection because we have no other choice. If you cant see your partner as often as you would like you should practice using the web cam. Web cams give you the visual connect you long for as well as allowing you to feel closer to your partner. I personally feel like my boyfriend is right in the room with me when we talk on the phone....scary I know lol the connection just feels that strong. If your interested in the more physical connection get creative with pictures and video. I don't know about you but I like sex and that is one of the hardest parts of being so distant but when you do get that together time TAKE ADVANTAGE! Panties off first, conversation later lol. Durex, the condom company, is actually working on an app called "Funderwear" powered through iPhone. This app allows you to put on special underwear that receives stimulation with the control of your partners cell phone so its like there touching your fun parts....SOUNDS CRAZY I KNOW it takes phone sex to a whole new level lol! That may not the be the route for you (or me lol) but its still very interesting.

More information and video demonstration of Durex "Funderwear" at the link below
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/19/durex-vibrating-underwear_n_3116777.html

MAKE TIME: You have to set times where you can get the chance to actually see each other. It may be hard financially so you have to plan ahead but don't let to much time past if you can control it. You are in an actual relationship so you still need to make time for each other. My financial tip is PLAN AHEAD most transportation tickets are always cheaper the earlier you book them so keep up with discounts and times. Also bring friends along to split the gas price. Turn your visit into a mini vacation and you can divide the coast of the trip. Take turns in who travels where if you can. This makes it more fair to everyone's pockets.

PLAN FOR RELOCATION: The reality of long distance relationships is that they should be a temporary thing. If the relationship is serious enough one of you should be considering a permanent relocation. Let's be clear neither one of you should just up and leave without a legitimate plan. Don't ever relocate unless you are 100% that the move will be the best thing for YOU! You need to be sure that even if this relationship dose not last that you will still be stable and it wasn't in vain. You honestly cannot go your whole life in a long distance relationship so something is going to have to happen whether you move, they move or you both move on. Good Luck in your journey through the long distance commitments and wish me luck as well!

 

Masturbating Metabolism

 I believe that 90 percent of the women in the world Masturbate and the other 10 percent are most likely all pathological liars lol. If you are unsure of the true meaning of the word masturbation, the textbook definition according to www.Merriam-Webster.com is; "[The] erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies." In plain English masturbation is nothing more than trying to obtain sexual pleasure and reach and orgasmic peak without the use of another persons genitals, Instead you manually stimulate yourself with you hands or my personal preference with the use of a sex toy of some kind. 

Female Sexuality was more widely acceptable and celebrated in more ancient times such as the renaissance period.  In the artist, Titian's painting "Venus of Urbino" The female in this portrait is Masturbating. 

Many people consider masturbation to be taboo or even a perversion in some senses but in actuality it is a very natural and even healthy sexual act. Masturbation has even been a proven factor in weight loss.....YEA I SAID IT "PETTING THE KITTY" HELPS WITH WEIGHT LOSS!!! If you have ever exercised for a long period of time you notice you feel a sense of Euphoria (Good Feeling) which is caused by positive blood flow throughout the body.....Now if you have masturbated for a period long enough to orgasm you will also notice you feel that same euphoric feeling there is a reason for that! Losing weight is ALL ABOUT burning more calories than you consume and most sexual act are extremely physical depending on your sex life of course so they are GREAT for burning calories. Masturbating in particular is very good for keeping the heart rate up before or after an exercise routine. Masturbation also helps positive blood flow in the body thus promoting heart health and a more functional cardiovascular system. This means when you decide to do any cardio exercises such as going jogging or anything strenuous you wont lose your breath as easily. 

Aside from just losing weight masturbation has many sexual-health benefits as well. Every time you masturbate your sexual organs are releasing once you reach an orgasm and ultimately cleansing themselves. If you are a woman masturbation also promotes more ACTUAL orgasms during sex with your partner.....I know you had to fake a few once before lol! I personally had never reached a sexual orgasm before I began to masturbate. When you manually stimulate yourself it makes it easier for your "Hot Spots" to be stimulated again with the help of a partner. Climaxing during sex promotes weight loss by exorcising the vaginal muscles and again working for your cardiovascular system. Experimenting with your partner during masturbation can help you more easily reach your climax rather than being alone and it helps you both learn more about each others bodies.

Do not be scared to explore your body its a normal thing and believe it or not most of us have done it whether we where in a relationship or not. Masturbation is not an shameful act and honestly its less risky than any other sex act because you obviously cant gain a potential Sexually Transmitted Disease from a sexual partner. Pleasuring yourself can sometimes be more satisfying than actual sex with a partner and that's just 100% real..... the health and weight loss benefits are a HUGE PLUS in it all. So the next time your alone and comfortable don't be scared to try something new..... Nobody Knows Your Body Better Than You!

                           I don't have it all figured out, I'm just trying to get my figure right!

Breaking Through the Breakup

No matter who you are or where your from there is one universal fact of life, SERIOUSLY BAD BREAKUPS ALWAYS SUCK!....That being said its all up to you how long it takes for you to get your mind back right! I myself have been through a truly bad breakup in my lifetime and I had to get myself back together as hard as it may have felt at the time but it was something I had to do! Everyone deals with their emotions a little differently and that's one of the most important things to remember when getting over a bad breakup. The aftermath of a bad breakup has its stages and you have to work through each stage. In the words of the ratchets There are Levels to this honey! lol

Level 1 Pity Party: The initial aftermath of a breakup is like a fresh wound...IT HURTS LIKE HELL! My advice to anyone in this level of the breakup give yourself a Day ALONE to have your little pity party. Drag yourself to the store and buy some tissues to get your cry on, some headache meds for after you got your scream on and of course buy your favorite snacks so you can get your eat on (Try healthy snacks no need to be depressed and gaining weight lol) . Put on the sad love songs and your most comfortable pajamas and don't put on anything else for the day. This is your time to express all of your sadness and rage without having to deal with any one else's opinion or judgement. I love emotional writing so what I tend to do is get my pen, my pad and just write it out. Something about the tears rolling down my face onto the paper as I write my feelings out is so therapeutic for me. Once I'm done writing and my tears have all dried up I fold the paper up and set it on fire! A little dramatic I know but its all in good symbolism. Get some rest and look forward to the next day. Depending on the type of person you are you may not even need an entire day just make sure you make that alone time for yourself.

Level 2 Turn Up: After you have had your day alone to vent its time to call on your best friends for their support. Your friends and family are usually the biggest support system you have so you have to look to them in these times when you really need the attention. Get dressed up, beautify that hair and make-up and have a fabulous girls night out! This is the time for you to truly enjoy your friends company and just release all the negative vibes. I know this step can sometimes be harder to do when you are still a little hurt but that's why your friends are there for to support you and lift you out your slump....so Laugh, Drink, Dance sweat your weave out and  have a great night.

Level 3 Work it Out: Find a workout plan (if you didn't already have one) and stick with it. This level of the breakup is strictly for your overall wellness. Working out is a great way to promote the clarity of your mind, body and soul...after any pain clarity is key to recovery. I like to walking because it gives me a chance to think and just experience piece of mind. I love workout tapes as well because they show you exactly what you need to do and are usually fun.  A new group of Fitness videos I would recommend are made by a company called "No Waist Gang". You can find these videos on YouTube (Links below). Working out can truly help you get whatever drama you have going on off your mind and is necessary especially after a bad breakup. Not to mention the fact that your getting in shape!

No Waist Gang!

Level 4 Move On!!!: This step is self explanatory! You truly have to move on from the past and look forward to your future endeavors. Some people that are brought in our lives are not meant to be permanent fixtures in our presence but they have taught us lessons that will never leave us. Life goes on and TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. Live Life and Love again!

                           I don't have it all figured out, I'm just trying to get my figure right!

Pretty for a Big Girl....WTF?

I've been considered a "Big Girl" literally MY ENTIRE LIFE. I went from being called a chubby baby, to a fat child, then a thick teenager until recently at the age of 20 I FINALLY decided to take control and come up with my own name..."Fluffy". People who do not understand what it means to be fluffy are often ignorant to the fact that we do not appreciate "Backhanded Compliments". If you are unsure of the meaning of the phrase "Backhanded Compliment" my formal definition is as follows; An Insult wrapped up and presented to you as a compliment by a Dumb Ass Person. Have ever been told "You Look Good For A....(fill in the bank)? If so You have been the VICTIM of the Backhanded Compliment.

Baby Me! Chubby Cheeks, HUGE Forehead aint much change! lol

     
NO ONE is exempt from receiving this form of ignorance because at the end of the day most humans in the world do not fit into societies mold of beauty. Your too black, Your Hair isn't Long enough, Your skins too Pastie, Your too tall, You have Crooked teeth, Your too fat, or not thick enough ....ext. THE LIST CAN GO ON FOREVER!  Not everyone is going to like what you look like or even understand how you could possibly love the way you look but none of that really matters once you find happiness within yourself. That might sound really cliche but believe me I tell you know lies. I have sat on my own fat ass and CRIED about having a fat ass! Meanwhile right next door is a girl crying because she think her booty is too little. Many of us know what it feels like to look in the mirror and not appreciate what you see because of what someone else said so trust I've been there & done that. There has to be a time where you reach an epiphany and begin loving you. Once you've gotten to that happy stage in your life all those backhanded compliments can never hurt you, they will be nothing more than some annoying shit a foolish person once said to you with a smile.

American researcher and artist Nickolay Lamm created a Barbie doll using the measurements of an average 19 year old woman. Society vs. Reality

In a perfect world there would be no such thing as being pretty for a big girl but until we reach that social utopia all we can do is correct the ignorance one person at a time. The next time a person feels the need to attach some negativity to a compliment don't except it. CORRECT THEM!!!!! Ex.Your so pretty for big girl....Respond No Honey I'm just Very Pretty & Thank you for noticing! Don't be rude just correct the ignorance & if a person has a problem with your correction Leave there Dumb Ass Alone...PERIOD...Clearly they like being an ignorant person and that is no concern of yours. Like I said before changing others opinion of you is unnecessary when you have a positive self image but we as human beings need to work on stopping the ignorance one Foolish Compliment at a time.

Thank You Taylor Mon`e For this Wonderful Topic (On IG @Callmet_Money)

                           I don't have it all figured out, I'm just trying to get my figure right!