Inside Out

I believe that in order to gain strength you have to allow people to see your vulnerability. Being able to love myself was once an unimaginable concept for me. I could had my family and friends right by my side and I would still feel very much alone in my own depression. My weight issues became something that I let control my entire life and I felt like I couldn't get past it. I never let anyone see the insecurities because I didn't want to be the depressing fat chick lol so I kept my head held high for the public when in reality it was all a front.

I got to the point where I realized  that it was a lot easier for me to convince people that I was happy with myself rather than for me to actually feel that way so I decided to make a drastic change. I went on a very strict diet and began an intensive at home workout regimen. I was able to lose 50 pounds. With the help of my new lifestyle change & began noticing huge changes in my body but not my mindset. I was still extremely unhappy and for the life of me I could not understand why. I lost the weight, people where always complimenting me and making a big deal of it but I couldn't join in their excitement for ME! 

I changed the outside but I hadn't even begun to work on the inside. My self image was screwed the hell up from the core and NO AMOUNT OF WEIGHT LOSS COULD CHANGE THAT. I had finally had enough of me being my worst enemy. I looked at the little things and began to develop a relationship with my own self. I would stare at myself in the mirror and appreciate my big nose, my thighs, my belly rolls, my butt, my smile and overtime I fell in love with the girl in the mirror. It was a journey but in the end I learned to love myself from the inside out. I share my journey  in hopes that someone can be inspired to begin their own. Self discovery is a path that can be winding and full of hurdles to jump but you will never get anywhere until your brave enough to take the first step. 

I don't have it all figured out, I'm just trying to get my figure right.